Ender's Stories

SO I've been thinking about the theme of oppression lately. It is pretty standard in most stories, so I got to thinking about my own. These are the tales I have so far. They probably have holes in plot and typos as i just kinda jotted stuff down as it came to me. in FACT, Neotone has been changed so many times that I just wrote down my ideas at the end of the synopsis to be added in later, so it will not make perfect sense and is indeed an unfinished beta. I'll put up a polished version later. I also plan on making it into a webcomic very soon, (just as soon as my drawing skills catch up to my imagination :/)

ANYWAY, HERE THEY ARE. ENJOY. REMEMBER, NEOTONE IS A BIT "UNDER CONSTRUCTION" SO IT MAY JUMP AROUND OR CHANGE VOCAB OFTEN (usually names of things). (in particular, the number of regions in the world changes throughout the synopsis as my ideas changed. The final number, mind you, is 5 regions. The name of the continent will be altered as needed).

Neotone (KEEP IN MIND THAT THIS SYNOPSIS IS RATHER LONG, THE OTHER TWO ARE VASTLY SHORTER)
By Ender
Copyright 2010 Ender GFX

after reading through it, I notice all of the confusing changes and plot holes I have yet to add. Again, I will add a much for comprehendible version later.

Character designs, development, and story arcs will be detailed in the actual series

On the distant planet of Ziad reside the Solians, a race of humanoid beings whom posses abilities far beyond those of even the strongest of humans. They share a deep connection with Shizen The Mother, who in actuality is the planet itself. When born, a Solian is gifted a small portion of Shizen’s sol, or life energy, and the sol is returned after death. This also applies to the rest of the organisms born of Shizen. Thus the cycle remained unbroken for thousands of years as Solians and all aspects of nature prospered under Shizen’s generosity. That is, until the humans arrived. Seeking refuge from a dead home-planet drained of resources, the technologically advanced humans wished to settle on Ziad. Fearing the great power the Solians displayed, the humans merely asked to come in peace and for a small portion of land in which to reside. Both races lived in relative peace for some time.
However, conflict soon began to stir. As the human population grew, it began to flow out of its land and began consuming its neighboring areas. The human’s pollution and destruction spread faster and faster until the Solians, a decidedly peaceful race, began to talk with the human encroachment. Diplomatic relations swiftly deteriorated and the humans, angry at their repression, decided that bloody action was necessary. Ever since arriving on Ziad the humans were in awe of the abilities granted to the Solians born of Shizen and had hoped that newborn humans would share in the power. Alas it was not to be and the humans grew lustful of the Solians’ “greedy hoarding of the sol.” A war was the perfect way to eliminate their peace-loving neighbors.

It was clear to the humans that they would suffer a crushing defeat if they confronted the Solians in traditional combat, but technology was on their side. The Solians were simple people who had no need for technology with their abilities, but the humans could not live without technical comforts. Realizing that they could harvest some sol energy from plants and animals, they began to quickly ravage the countryside for all organisms with which to suck sol out of. Sol was much more potent than the archaic electricity of the Old World and technology boomed among the humans. However, after being burned as fuel, the sol failed to completely return to Shizen. The Solians could not stand for this, so they decided they had no choice but to get rid of the violent disease to the planet that was the human race.
Yes, a war was imminent, and both sides were determined to win. Using technology, the humans planned to turn the tides on the Solians. A brilliant alchemist known simply by the name “King” created a machine he called “The Gate.” It was designed to absorb the sol of attacking Solians and transform their powers into solid matter, harmless stones, removing the sol from the Solians and allowing the humans access to its wonders. But The Gate proved much more able than initially intended, upon activation The Gate began “de-syncing” all Ziadian organisms in its vicinity. Once lush forests were turned to barren wastelands in a matter of hours and Solions became entombed in small crystals the humans named solstones. Soon most of the planet and solian population were gone, but still the humans continued to crystallize the planet.</em>
<em> </em>
<em> The Solains, for their part, were not just going to sit around letting Shizen be killed, and their council members met to discuss a plan. The Solian Council consisted of the Oracles, unique Solians ordained at birth who alone could converse with Shizen and each of the six Oracles commanded one of the six elements of nature: Earth, Water, Wind, Fire, Light, and Shadow. They were far stronger than their Solian brothers and were thus turned to in this dire time of need. The Oracles began to work tirelessly to seal The Gate. Six pieces of “Locke” were created from the pure essence of each element, but before Locke could be activated to restore their fallen comrades, disaster struck. Weakened from their efforts, the Oracles could only flee as the humans invaded the Solain capitol and de-synced the rest of the population. Forced to split up, the Oracles went into hiding with their Locke parts, waiting to rendezvous and finally stop the human threat. Their chance never came. </em>
<em>Chaon, the Oracle of Shadow, and Dansu, the Oracle of Light, travelled together during their great escape, as both were always suspicious of the other’s motivations. </em>
<em>Eventually, the two get caught by the humans and Dansu heroically takes the blow from the Gate for Chaon. However, part of chaon’s power is also sealed within Dansu’s sol stone, so he is greatly weakened, but he manages to escape and takes the odd sol stone with him hoping to recover his powers. He ends up hiding the stone and loses himself in history. This is where our story starts.</em>

Hundreds of years later, the humans rule the world, or what’s left of it. With Shizen’s power greatly weakened, the world is dying. Much of it has been covered by deep, terrible oceans. Only a few island continents remain, The original continent that the Sol War happened on has been divided into 5 countries by a special wall to protect the ecosystems of each, and has been named Pentox. Ongaku is a young, poor boy living with his mother and sister, Amber, on the streets of Wallpool, a large city near the western edge of Shaar, the central country of Pentox; a fishing village that utilizes the small ocean formed by a crack in the Pentawall. Little does this boy know that he has been chosen by Shizen to be the next oracle of light and bring hope back to the planet. In the last hundred years, Chaon realized that with the oracle f light out of the way, his element remains unopposed and darkness has spread over the world, strange creatures lurk in the night and people are generally ill-disposed towards their neighbors.

Chaon founded Solex, the main energy provider of Pentox which uses solstones to energize the continent. His HQ is in the capital of Ziad, Virtigo City, a metropolis of advanced technologies thanks to Solex. But back to Ongaku.

As a boy, he lived scrapping the streets for food with his small family until one fateful day. Ongaku, going to fetch water from the local well happened to be pushed in by some bullies, and at the bottom he discovered a cave that lead deep into the darkenss. He followed it for a while and was attacked by many strange beasts, but suddenly a warm light enveloped him and he beheld a strange rock gleaming in the darkness. Seemingly drawn towards it, he touched the rock and the cave became enveloped in a wash of light, destroying the creatures and making Ongaku black-out. When he woke up, he was above ground and noticed that a strange tattoo and formed on his left hand. Considering it to be nothing, he went on living. Shortly after, Chaon, sensing The Light’s presence in Wallpool, sent an assassin to investigate. He mistook Ongaku’s mother to be the oracle and killed her in front of Ongaku’s eyes. The assassin laughed evilly in his face but suddenly fell to the ground dead, his body mangled. Chaon, watching from the shadows gaped in amazement as the aura surrounding Ongaku changed from pure to a suffocating black. His demeanor changed from that of a scared boy to a sociopathic killer. Realizing that Ongaku had somehow integrated Dansu AND the part of his power, Chaon began to walk towards the possessed boy, getting ready to absorb the powers he had for so long tried to get back. But before he had the chance, Ongaku suddenly attacked Amber when out of nowhere a strange, cloaked, bearded man appeared and struck Ongaku in the chest, knocking a black stone from the boy’s mouth and knocking him out.

Chaon stood back and watched as the man took Ongaku’s unconscious body and Amber with him out of the city where he suddenly disappeared. Realizing that the man was of the cursed lineage of King, Chaon vowed to find him and kill him along with the boy.
Ten years later, Ongaku is seventeen and he watches out for Amber, who is only twelve. Together they live under the care of Rito, the man who saved them. They live on a desert farm in the small village of Crest Gate where Rito has given the children a basic education. He told Ongaku two things in particular: never remove the black stone pendent from around his neck and never listen to music. Life is fine for the carefree boy even with these restrictions. Ongaku, coming of age soon, one day took part in the age-old tradition of Wurm hunting, where a boy shows that he has become a man. Donning his sand-blader, a special surfboard used for sand dunes, he rushes off to hunt one of the giant sand wurms that lurk in the deepest reaches of Ziad. Many of the boys he starts with return early with small game or nothing, but he stays out the longest, determined to find the biggest wurm possible to show the village elders that he is worthy to be a real man of Crest Gate as they have always treated him and Amber as an outsider, only accepting them into their close-knit society because of Rito’s words.
Ongaku eventually finds a massive wurm and has a grand battle in which he is almost consumed but ends up victorious with his S-gun, a weapon that uses fire to harden sand and launches the new glass bullets, which shatter into piercing shrapnel on impact.

But when he got back to the village, he found it to be a desolate. Buildings we burned, shop fronts smashed, and bodies lined the streets. The village had been raided. He over heard some goons and discovered that they came from Virtigo City. He set off for the city hoping to find answers as to what happened.

I feel like I’m not really abridging this enough, so I’m gonna pick up the pace a bit.

Ongaku gets to Virtigo, a city named after the height of its buildings, which stretch from the bottom a deep, water-filled fissure to the clouds. He is almost killed but is saved by a girl who claims to be a member of an underground group of rebels called the Breakers. She has the ability to read minds thanks to sol tracks, which she explains are a new technology that turns sol stones into discs and when listened to, the brain is stimulated in such a way that latent powers are bestowed upon the listener. She explains that most people are only “synced” with one or two tracks in their lives as their minds would not be able to adapt to the manipulation. Trying to over-do it would result in deafness, insanity, or even death. This is key.
Sensing something strange about him, she takes Ongaku to the Breakers HQ, where he meets the leader, Bader, a cyborg with a passionate hate for Chaon , who used to be his employer and is responsible for the loss of his right arm and legs and the damage to his face. No one knows that Chaon is actually a solian, they just think he is a corrupt buisiness man who basically controls the town under mod rule and has a monopoly on sol tracks. No one knows that the sol-trakcs are actually the souls of the entombed solians whose powers are being siphoned to the humans in this way and they are dying, making the world crumble even faster. Ongaku becomes a member and soon learns that he loves music, which he has never heard before. The Breakers also take him to an underground sol track shop where they try to see if they can sync a track with him. To their surprise, five tracks suddenly absorb into his skin when he touches them. They soon realize that he is able to access the track’s powers by spinning the tattoo on his hand like a disc, and he can mentally choose a track to listen to. Each track he has in him gives him a different power, which he can shuffle with other powers and thus fight. When he uses his powers, strange headphones form on his ears that shatter when his power runs out. They call this ability “Shuffling” thusly and they find out that unlike normal Sol tracks, he seems drained of energy when he uses his abilities and he can only shuffle a few times before he is forced to stick with one track until his energy runs out or he stops the music. After which he cannot use his abilities again until his tattoo reforms. Seeing his potential, the Breakers train Ongaku to fight in order to better protect the people of the village from the night Creatures that stalk up into the city from the fissure.
He is also surprised to find himself to be a prodigy at the guitar and begins to hit the local Night-Clubs where he mixes and plays music under the alias “DJ.” He quickly becomes famous after the rumor that his music seems to have a healing effect on those who listen to it. In reality, the pendent around Ongaku’s neck is, unknown to him, the fragment of Chaon’s sol which activates when he plays music and begins to absorb the negative feelings of the people around him, thus beginning to restore its power.
The Breakers eventually discover the state of the world: dying, and decide to go see if the legend of the Locke is true so that they can revive Shizen’s sol. After a long quest, the main characters (Ongaku, Bader, Riff, Sabra, and Raechel) locate the Locke pieces, one in every area of Pentox (the continent, remember, is split into six different environmental countries-see map-). They fight off many bandits, track-users (called “phoners”), and shadow creatures while Ongaku finds and syncs with more and more tracks, increasing the scope of his abilities. They discover, however, that the hidden Locke pieces are guarded by the old Oracles who have now been corrupted by the unbalanced light and darkness. Unable to defeat them, they realize their only hope is to find a way to replicate The Gate. Ongaku remembers that Rito had a small ring that matched the description of The Gate’s properties and they head back to the ruins of Crest-Gate to find it. They eventually find the ring after solving a series of puzzles but are confronted by Chaon who defeats them and steal the ring.
Through a long chain of events, Ongaku discovers that Chaon has taken the ring back to Solex and is reverse engineering the technology for something. He also discovers that Rito and Amber are also kept in cells at Solex and the Breakers, with an epic struggle, manage to free them and the ring,. When freeing his family, Ongaku discovers that they have been horribly abused and becomes enraged. The pendent on his neck (the dark sol stone) activates, absorbs into his neck, and pours all of its collected negative energies into Ongaku who uses his dark oracle powers to defeat Chaon. He then goes on a rampage nearly killing the rest of the Breakers but Rito once again manages to use The Gate to contain the evil again, which now forms a bigger stone, which no one else seems to be able to touch without being consumed by negative thoughts. Later, Rito basically explains everything that the reader needs to know: Ongaku houses the Oracle of light within him and that is why he can withstand the mental strain of “Shuffle.” He cannot fully utilize the Oracle’s powers as the dark sol stone is on him and both powers are checking the other. One can gain domination and break though when he experiences extreme emotions, but when he does so, it becomes harder and harder to return to normal and the power of the repressing oracle is diminished.
He explains that Chaon plans to use the new, dark gate to send out a powerful sol-song across the globe, which will make the humans using his sol-tracks his obedient slaves as punishment for their crimes.**This is a particularly large gap in the changes I have made, so the current plot is this: he plans to give the solians the bodies of the humans. The key will revive their consciousnesses and the reverse (dark) gate will merge the bodies.** He needs the Locke pieces to complete his scheme. Rito goes into hiding, giving the Breakers the Gate. They go and defeat the Corrupted Oracles and get the Locke pieces, and the oracles become sol stones. However, it seems that the stones merely embody the darkness that had consumed the oracles who thank the group for saving them from the shadows and integrate their powers into Ongaku, whose abilities are strengthened. The elements also remain in balance this way.**This has been changed dramatically as well, when De-synced, the oracles become "Gold Master" sol tracks which Ongaku must absorb. Upon doing so, his mind is transported into a world of the oracle's creation based on the genre of music they represent, and he must locate the evil within that world and destroy it before the track runs out. If it does, he is booted out of the world and the track teleports to another location around the continent, a problem. If he succeeds, then the story proceeds as was originally written.**
Chaon realized a while ago that he could use the Breakers to get the Locke pieces, which Oracles of different elements cannot touch (but humans can) in order to revive his race and rule over it as their savior. When all of the pieces are collected by the Breakers, Bader and Riff suddenly turn on Ongaku and the rest of the breakers, revealing that the whole time they had been in league with Chaon in order to gain wealth and power. They also claim to be the reason why they were able to infiltrate Solex so easily, because they were being allowed to. The rouges destroy the Breaker HQ and take the Locke and Rito to Chaon. They discover that only Ongaku, who has integrated the oracles into him, can activate the other 5 locke pieces (besides “Shadow”), so the two ex-breakers go after the remainder of the scattered Breakers looking for Ongaku. Eventually they find him by using his love interest, Raechel, as bait. But Riff (the second in command of the old Breakers) is defeated by the fully powered Ongaku who then goes out looking for Bader. They have a big fight which Ongaku eventually wins, but he is forced to use his dark sol track which almost kills him as Rito is not there to stop him. The oracles within him give him the will to stop the track, but Ongaku finds himself greatly weakened afterwards. He and a small team of Breakers (basically the rest of the main characters and some secondary ones) bust into Solex and attack Chaon to stop him from using the Reverse Gate. The battle escalates to the 100th floor of solex where Ongaku and Chaon square off. Ongaku is defeated after a long battle and Chaon retrieves the dark sol stone and absorbs its powers, becoming complete. Ongaku falls from the top floor but is saved by a badly damaged Bader who is using a sol override conduit to push his body past its limits to save Ongaku. He then explains that he and Riff were being controlled by dark tones but ongaku had disrupted the one in him. He then dies. The repression of the stone now gone, Ongaku is able to play one final song using the full weight of his combined sol-tracks, which now instead of taking bad feelings from the already disheveled people of Virtigo, siphons their positive feelings, but strengthens them in the process. In effect, everyone is giving him their love energy. The Light Oracle awakens within Ongaku and he confronts the fully powered Chaon for a final time while the Reverse Gate charges.
Ongaku confronts the shadow oracle and after a suffle, Ongaku seems to have the adv, and manages to destroy the reverse gate. Angered, Chaon summons a huge storm of darkness to destroy the planet so that no one can have it if he cannot. Ongaku unleashes all of his sol to obliterate the storm and Rito, having appeared out of nowhere, finishes off the stunned chaon by sealing them both with the gate which then breaks. As Ongaku, now powerless, fades in and out of consciousness, the rest of the breakers arrive on the scene and merge the newly obtained shadow locke part with the other 5 (including Ongaku) who then powers it to revive all the solians via satellite. However, the spirits no longer have bodies, but have merely been restored to a conscious form. So Shinzu recycles the sol back into the earth to be reborn to humans. She herself starts reguvinating the planet and processes 4 things regarding the oracles:
they need a new shadow oracle to maintain balance. Ongaku chooses Bader whose life is restored and his body is whole again.
Ongaku is too tainted by hatred and battle to be the oracle of light, so a pure being must take Dansu’s place. Amber is selected
Ongaku, whose own soul is on the verge of collapse after such a journey, becomes the oracle of Life, the vessel for shinzu, who is reavealed to have been the strange wisp the follows and aids ongaku for most of the story.
Riff, Raechel, Skylar, and Chord all become the new oracles or wind, fire, water, and earth respectively.
With his duties revealed, ongaku says goodbye and sets off to revive the planet. With no more sol energy, the humans must now work together to evolve their civilization which results in a feeling of peace and unity not felt, especially afte the viel of darkness has been removed and the shadow beasts no longer roam the earth. The walls come down and virtigo is left as a ruin to demonstrate that evils of apathy and corruption. All is well in the end.

SEASON TWO

A hundred years later…

As humans begin to give birth to children with solain features, a new breed of human is made which is slightly superior physiologically to the original humans. But they are not fools and do not attempt to dominate the pure humans. Instead, they share their gifts by setting up a popular system in which people can telepathically trade abilities and talents. This is a great technique at first as education and productivity soar, but eventually talent lots start to form in which people are worked like slaves to gain traits, which are then given to Grand Masters to further their powers.
The civilization begins to fall into ruin as a few people amass all of the talents and the rest are reduced to animal minded peasents. The world, mind you, is no longer one of adv. Tech, but more of a steam punk enviro, the ancient, crumbling structures of virtigo stand as mysterious pieces of legend that are now home to a vast network of slave traders.
Hybrid children are often heralded as royalty for their ability to create and send talents so quickly. However, one hybrid boy is separated from Velo City (the new capital) and is taken in by some purist humans, who are part of a small but recognizable population of humans who have retained all of their original talents, which prove to make one more adept at them. They are not superhuman in nature as the hybrid talents, but are more or less physical and logical. Diro (whose name means “of two roads”), the hybrid boy, grows up to be a young adult with the family but is looked at with disdain by his adoptive older sister. When a slave guild comes through and captures the town’s residence, Diro and Sabra get away. They meet a team of youth who have also been separted from their families or have escaped from talent lots.
Diro apparently has the unusual talent of sharing which allows him to duplicate the talents that he posses and split them in power to give to another person without losing it himself entirely. He can also drain the talents from people who received them artificially and make them his own.

And that is as far as I have gotten with this story. Rest assured that Ongaku and the Breakers will not be left out of the fun.








Note to self: make sure you incorporate the following points into season one’s storyline. ;p

ELEMENTS TO BE ADDED”

Bader can destroy headphones with his technopathy, making sol tracks useless against him. All except for Ongaku whose headphones are not conventional technology.
Searching for stones is a lucrative biz for bandits who tear apart towns in search for the energy supplying stones.
sync=indv. track power level
flow=track limiter
Ongaku has infinite flow
SOL FRUIT counters the person who can control sound (as music is useless, the sol rich fruit provide specific temporary powers via digestion, but are guarded by animals that are super powerful as they have evolved by eating the fruit continuously)
Gate Still targets sol, so that is why tracks were created, to provide targets on the humans
People can train to increase flow
Crest gate citizens do not use sol because of regret

Oracle tracks- When an oracle is desynced, Ongaku must enter the created Gold Master track and must destroy darkness from within the sol before the track runs out and boots him out, before flying across the land before another attempt can be made.
Bader and co actually under influence of dark tones (what Chaon uses to control humans, based in black headphones)

Ongaku has light locke in the form of the chain the dark solstone is attached to by rito (so that chaon cannot touch it), and obtains 4 more in the border states while getting the shadow key after Chaon falls
________________________________________________________


BALANCE

<span> </span>In a the near future, vampires have come back from the brink of extinction. They realize, however, that if they were to kill all the humans then there would be no food for them, and enslaving humans would most likely involve working during the day, which is a turn off for many of the vamps who get sun sickness when exposed to the daylight. The solution that was achieved was that the humans would populate the southern hemisphere while the vampires would reside in the northern hemisphere. The humans being presided over by Dr. Van Helsing while the vamps are ruled over by Lord Dracula and his underling, Morte d’ Amour, who runs the judiciary system. The humans provide the vampires with food using inmates in prisons. In return, the vampires do not conflict with the human’s interests, and even provide them with raw materials to build back up what was lost from them. However, many on both sides are not happy with this agreement, and the humans often have to kidnap innocent humans to meet their monthly quota of blood supply.
Because of the unrest, it was decided that a special breed of lawmen would be needed to keep the peace. So Dhampirs were created, the despised human vampire hybrid. Able to walk freely amongst both sides and more resilient to light and other vampiric weaknesses, they patrol the land making sure the Agreement is being observed.
One particular dhampir, Lex, is the son of Dracula born to a human mother. He posses unusually strong abilities due to this lineage and is thus assigned to the border lands where conflict is most often. One day while on the job, he rescues an old man from a rogue vampire. The old man is a priest, however, and was actually luring the vampire into a trap, which would kill both him and the man. Regrettably, by touching the man, Lex begins to turn to dust. The priest gives him an ancient Relic staff that represses Lex’s vampiric side, thus making him slightly immune to the “blessing” as long as he holds the staff, in fact, instead of attacking his body, it is now slowly degrading his human soul, which will take much longer. The staff also alters his appearance, psychology, and abilities; and while both “sides” of him share some traits, each personality has specialties. If he casts aside his staff, his graceful human side is overtaken by the vampiric persona (Who he calls “Zander”), which is much stronger physically. However, this accelerates the blessing, lessening his life span. The longer he has the staff removed, the less willing he is to take it back up, as he is so engrossed in keeping his power that he doesn’t care about his life anymore.
A complete list of his powers is in my sketchbook and will be added later.
Of course, there are factions of humans who are also “rogue” and are vampire hunters. They use holy Relics which are powered by a mysterious energy called Faith. When a relic touches a vampire, the wound created is not regenerated, as would be the case for a normal injury.
Anyway, Lex realizes that only Dracula’s tainted blood will have a curse to counter the blessing and save his life if drank. However, Dracula disowned him at birth because he did not want to admit to having love affairs with a human and put him in a training camp at a very early age. He will do him no favors; in fact he would rather not have Lex around at all as his unusual power rivals even his. For Dracula can only be killed at the hands of another vampire, but as one of the few surviving Master class vampires (he killed most of them), he posses the “Presence,” which allows him to telepathically control any vampires within a range. Lex, not being fully undead is immune to this but still has the ability to kill him.
So Lex sets off as a “hunter”, using his staff and powers to protect the innocent and pass judgment on sinners, be they human or vampire, while he pushes from Mexico to London, the capital of the Vampiric nation. Of course, Morte d’ Amour is not just gonna stand for one of his operative, particularly a gifted one, to just waltz out on the job and do what he pleases, so he has a kill order put out on him. Lex is now a target for human and vampire bounty hunters. Lex is not deterred and eventually teams up with Damian, another Dhampir who was not a part of the Bloodlaw initiative, Ramy, a female vampire hunter who initially tried to kill Lex, and Echo, the small bat who is the comedic animal character of the story; he can speak. They all have the common goal of ridding the world of Dracula and the Agreement, which they believe is going to make the humans fall into ruin. But they can’t just barge into the vampiric territories, they need help. They go to find Van Helsing, who is now in hiding after a coup. The humans are now being ruled by a person who is under a trance by Dracula.
Despite being older than he once was, the legendary vampire hunter still has some skills up his sleeves and agrees to aid the motley crew in their quest as he too has a score to settle with who he calls “the Count”. So they begin their quest anew, finding new relics and ways to defeat the different vampire breeds they encounter and the human rogues. One relic they find early on is a seemingly ordinary mirror that will not show the reflection of a vamire. Useful in determining who is a pureblood or not, as it shows humans clearly, and dhampirs as blurry. However, it is even more useful for Lex who realizes that it reflects the progression of the Blessing by showing his spirit’s progress of turning to dust. When his spirit has become dust, his body will quickly succumb to the blessing. As he is half vampire, he does not fully require a spirit to survive, so the depletion of it merely makes him physically resemble a vampire…until he turns to dust that is.
So they go on all kinds of journeys as they race against time as Dracula begins to use his mind slave of a human president to gain bureaucratic control over the humans, who he plans to finally enslave, as he has created a mindless breed of vampires that can survive in the sunlight and thus effectively farm the humans.

<span> </span>~Point of interest: Morte d’ Amour is a very special breed of vampire called a Rotting Vampire who has very unusual abilities in that his very touch is toxic and he can instantly decompose a vampire (it seems the soul prevents this for humans and dhampirs). He is also immune to relics, which melt under his touch. The only way to kill him is to cremate him. He can also rot himself at will and thus turn to a bloody dust that can fly via wind currents. He does not need blood to survive but instead feasts in cadavers to replace the flesh that is constantly rotting off of him. He cannot regenerate the flesh that falls off naturally. He secretly plans to kill Dracula with a “Corruption Bite”, one of the most feared techniques in vampire lore only usable by one Rotting vampire in history. It will quickly and painfully decompose anything touching the bite mark and then bleed into the earth until a massive radius of rot is created, stemming form the wound. He realizes that Dracula trusts him, so the Presence is not used on him. However, if he was to give himself away for even a second, Dracula would destroy him, so the Corruption bite needs to be the quick and decisive move to kill Dracula before the Prince of Darkness can turn on him. He cannot simply use the vampire rot abillity on him as Dracula always has a human assistant with him who acts as a diplomat between the two races. He also enhances Dracula’s power and provides the protection of a soul. Dracula protects him passionately. After Dracula is killed, Morte will enslave the entire planet, feasting on the undead and human cadavers as the supreme ruler. Of course, just killing Dracula wont be enough, he must ingest some of his flesh to gain his powers in order to cement his rule. If Lex kills Dracula, then he will not have the raw power to rule the world. Of course, Lex is also partially immune to the mental vampire rot ability of his as Lex has a soul.

It’s a tale of supernatural action, suspense, betrayal, and most importantly to today’s popular culture: vampires.

______________

WAVE
<span> </span>
This story is not entirely thought out yet, but could be interesting.
Despite popular belief, the human brain is not the pinnacle of biological design. In fact, it is very inefficient and poorly crafted, so it is a surprise that it functions as well as it does. In the year 240X the rich upper class have had just about enough of these inefficient brains, so a new drug is developed that will not affect them, but will instead alter the genes of the unborn. So the offspring of the rich become trophies for their displays of vastly superior brain function with their streamlined design. However, it slowly becomes apparent that these super genius youth are not psychologically like normal humans. They have no empathy and their biological functions are superior to those of the Kooj (the name for the normal brainers), such as better stamina, pain resistance, stronger senses, and of course a vast intellect. They are all seemingly linked telepathically a hive mind and quickly decide that the stupid Klooj need to be supervised like children. They take over the world quite easily and instill strict rules on the humans and force them to live mundane, homogenous lives. They do not have names, but are simply called Klooj who refer to the collective mind of their masters as Wave. There is no such thing as an individual, and a strict dress code reflects the occupation chosen for you by Wave.
It’s all very boring for the humans, but they can’t do much about it. That is, until ne fateful day. Wave never seems to physically grow past the age of 10 as the altered brain has different hormones, so Wave keeps its child-like appearance forever until it is killed by a strange sensory overload at around the Klooj age of 101. Unable to reproduce (it seems the hive mind prevents orgasm?), the few hundred Wave begin to start experiments in cloning. Very unethical for the old humans, but Wave couldn’t care less. Their first experiment is botched and the children resulting are disposed of. All except for one, who is secretly saved by the Klooj woman who operated the disposal facility (also a place where misbehaving Klooj go for “time out”, where they are in reality burned to death).
The child is taken to an underground program run by the Klooj known to only a few as LEAD. They hope to make him into a weapon against Wave. He is named Genome and indeed displays a unique brain. Not as streamlined as Wave, but very efficient non the less. He is not connected to the hive and exhibits all the psychological human straits the Klooj posses, including empathy. He is very intelligent and has slightly superior physiology. He seems to be able to win people over esily with his cheerful and flamboyant personality and clothing style and he helps LEAD (as a teenager) to strategize and fight against Wave and its army of advanced robots. The goal? Rid the world of Wave before they can complete the perfect clone that can never be killed.

<span> </span>Wave is confused by emotions and considers them to be inefficient encumbrances to the functioning of the Klooj, so they try to repress it. Genome’s massive personality seems to be able to shock a Wave member to a degree as to make it lose connection with the rest of Wave, making it mentally dead. Wave is also baffled by the concept of creativity, so they try to make the humans live symmetrical, safe lives. If the entirety of Wave was to view something extremely creative, the entire hive would just shut down. LEAD plans to do just that, but they will have to find some Creators to help them make such a project. Of course most of the Klooj do not want to help as they are fearful, but LEAD goes on a quest to find a musician, an author, a painter, a sculptor, a chef, and an inventor, in order to create the “Homage”, a massive display of human spirit, individuality, and creativity (they don’t know what it will actually be) that will be able to break Wave and thus restore freedom for the Klooj.

And that’s pretty much all I have so far. I basically made up most this last story as I typed it.

Things are very liable to change as I think about stuff more.


Alright, so now you know where my mind wanders when I am bored.
all stories here are
Copyright 2010 Evan Tetreault
so don't go around stealing my ideas. Unless you wish to pay me to work for you.

Right. Well. Look forward to these possibly being graphic novel projects for me in the future. Like, 10-20 years in the future.

Isnt there a character limit in posts? Becuase i think u hacked to break it :/

cclloyd9785 wrote:Isnt there a character limit in posts? Becuase i think u hacked to break it :/

yes. yes that is correct.

You have left me in awe. I actually read everything on that monstrous wall of text, and it was awesome.

there aint no character limit >.>

Very well done story ender i love reading things like this

Hmmm...maybe I should do the same for my story...?

Thanks guys, it was all worth it

but god, so many typos! And I need to really fix Neotone's synopsis...IT'S ALL OVER THE PLACE WITH IDEAS THAT DONT MATCH UP!

I have been working on the story for Neotone since like 5th grade (which is why it is the longest) but it has evolved so dramatically so many times that I could have made 4 separate stories with 4 different sets of characters they are so changed.

But despite all this, I think Balance (working title) would be interesting to read. Im working on the illustrations for Neotone currently, tho, so when I get the webcomic rolling I'll post a link.

If you guys wanna hear any other stories i have, just ask. These are just ones that shared a common theme. As a game designer in-the-making I tend to think of stories all the time. Indeed Wave spawned from my psychology reading I had to do for homework this morning.

anyway, thanks for the input!

The theme of oppression is decidedly showed in these stories.

I found all three of them to be an interesting read. A lot of your stories contained many archetypal themes and events, which isn't horrible, but not purely original either. Although I did find the plot for the first and last story to be pretty unique in and of themselves. The third was interesting, but I personally think the vampire theme is overused nowadays, which lead me to not appreciate it as much as the other two stories.

There was a lot throw out and things I might have missed while reading it, but I can honestly say that I would be interested in reading the completed rendition of these stories, and a graphic novel of these would be awesome too.

You mentioned something about becoming a game designer in-the-making and these stories and the way you've set up this topic really show potential towards that goal. I do wish you luck in that endeavor or with whatever you decide to do in the future, and I enjoyed reading through these. Thanks for sharing and I think your doing a pretty good job Ender.

thanks you very much. Indeed, that was why I got thinking about vampires, due to the ridiculous popularity of the genre. So I wondered if I could conceive something fresh for vampires to do that did not involve themes of love, something original using rote creatures.

All of these stories also follow the "Path of the Traveler" pacing technique, which is a pretty standard device (see Star Wars), but while these basic plot elements remain as place holders, I plan to develop the originality in some of them to add coherence and a source of interest.

So yeah, again thank you.

and if you couldn't tell, Neotone was originally conceived to be a game... Also, for Neotone, I intend for it to be rather humorous, and one particular source for this humor is to be the presence of cliches in the storyline (ie: bad guys trying to rule the world), cliches that the characters are aware of and find to be ridiculous...among other things.

well i was reading the stories
and i found them to be interesting,
yes as you said, there are things to be fixed, but i see a lot of potential in them,
keep up the good work im sure you will reach your desired goal

Ender wrote: Also, for Neotone, I intend for it to be rather humorous, and one particular source for this humor is to be the presence of cliches in the storyline (ie: bad guys trying to rule the world), cliches that the characters are aware of and find to be ridiculous...among other things.

That's a really cool idea. I look forward to seeing how well you input it into the story.

Thanks! Yeah, I am looking forward to starting the publication of the webcomic, I am almost done with chapter one's name, but have finished the scripts for the next 3 chapters.

finished

This is the main character of the story "Balance" (working title), Lexzander. I havent finished it yet as a few elements are missing and there is almost no shading. But it's good enough for now.



And this is the main character of "Neotone", Ongaku. However it is an older sketch and the design for him has changed a tad. He is also not in color as is obvious.

I have a habit of failing to leave room for the legs.

A decidedly peaceful race, began to talk with the human encroachment.

LeeRain wrote:A decidedly peaceful race, began to talk with the human encroachment.

forgive my ignorance, but I fail to see any problems, grammatical or conceptual, with this line. So for now I shall simply

What Ender said. I see no problem with it.
Anyway, I read the first one, the other two didn't pique my interest too much. If you really get these to be books, I would read Neotone. It seems wicked cool. Nice job with these.

Ender wrote:

LeeRain wrote:A decidedly peaceful race, began to talk with the human encroachment.

forgive my ignorance, but I fail to see any problems, grammatical or conceptual, with this line. So for now I shall simply

Could you mean to correct him like this LeeRain?

"...a decidedly peaceful race, began to talk with the encroaching humans."

This way, the Solians are talking to the humans, not the act of encroachment.

Right, well, I finally started work on Neotone. Im gonna try and update on a TUE, WED, SAT basis. Right now I only have a chapter page, and I dont plan on drawing anything this week as I am gonna be unusually busy (which means f@$%ing busy). Anyway, once I get it off the ground (and modify the site's appearance a bit) you should all vote for it (via the banner on the homepage) so I can get more famouser on TWC.

cool.

http://neotone.thecomicseries.com/