Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

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Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by REN on Mon Dec 19, 2011 1:28 pm

I was surfing through the internet and found this hilarious version of Pokemon Blue & Red. For those who are interested I am going to post a pic with a description & dialogue and the next poster has to select 1 from the options I'm giving. It's about the adventures of Pokemon!

So here are the rules:

1.- Anyone and everyone can join, as long as they follow the rules.
2.- Only I can put pics and descriptions, everybody else just has to select the options.
3.- Once someone selects an option I will post another pic with the result of said option, meanwhile EVERYONE has to wait till I post the next pic (if anyone posts 1 of the other options after someone has already selected I will ignore them, though you can post your comments about the results of the last selected option)
4.- If noone selects an option (more or less in a 1-day span) I will freely select an option and post the result for said option, and so on.

Please follow the rules and remember this is A PARODY, so just have fun :3

Here's the beginning of our Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody Adventures!


Hello everyone! This is the world of Pokemon! I'm Oak! But people tend to call me Professor, since it seems they have difficulties pronouncing my name, although I never did a degree.

This world is inhabited by rare creatures! The ones which are the result of our cruel and ilegal experiments, where we genetically altered poor and helpless animals, giving as a result these beings which we call Pokemon (abbreviation of "Pocket Monsters") named like that to not infringe any copyrights. To some people Pokemon are pets, for others they are interesting tools for cleaning and other services. But others use them to fight so that they can win money or distinction, just how our ancestors did with cockfighting. And others... well, some are somewhat weird.

As for me... I study Pokemon as profession. Yes, I know it has not been the best decision of my life. Every morning I wake up crying when I realize of how pathetic my life is, to have chosen a career where I barely get money to eat, besides I can't get any pretty ladies...


Leaving my boring life aside... you can tell me about yourself. Maybe finding out about your life will make me feel a little better, since maybe your life could turn out to be worse than mine. So tell me, are you a girl or a boy? Yes, the truth is you are a weirdo and you make me doubt about your genre (and sexuality).

Who am I kidding? No girl passes by here *sniff* Because you are so lonely so I will take it you are a guy. Let me take a better look at you... mmm... you are not that manly, my 10 year old grand-daughter has more testosterone than you. And that pose doesn't help, to tell you the truth. But well, that doesn't matter, let's proceed.

Now tell me your name. What? Why do I want to know? That's not your concern, just limit yourself to responding! Well, well calm down, it's not neccesary to call the police, I swear I am not stashing any child pron, I just want to know your name.

Good! So your name is Anonymous IP? Mmm... you are not that creative with names aren't you? I can't complain, my name is worse than yours, going on...


This is my grandson, he's been your rival since you were little and has always won in everything you have proposed. Remember? It was him who broke your toys when you were little and he will be the one who's going to steal your girlfriend in high school. He knows you are going to make a trip so he decided that he also wants to become a Pokemon Master, just to beat you and humiliate you as always. He doesn't look like me at all. I was also like you, and look where I am now! Uhm, back to topic...

Mmm... I don't remember how he's called, you will have to forgive my damn Alzheimer... If only my daughter wouldn't have slept with many men and haven't had many children who she had to sell to the black market... I can't believe I have lived with my grandson for more than 13 years and can't remember his f*cking name. Could you tell me how he's called? Eh... Was it *insert obscene name here*? Oh, yeah! It's true! That's how he's called? What a weird name...



Anonymous IP! Your own Pokemon legend is about to begin! A world of dreams and adventures with pokemon await you! Go ahead! You are only relinquishing the opportunity to attend a private school, get into a good college and with that get a degree that can let you out of this sh*tty town and be free from those insupportable pokemon to have a nice family and a quiet life... But your decision has already been made! And you are still with that pose...



You find yourself in your tiny, desolate, precarious and greyish room. What do you want to do?

-Sleep a little
-Play with the SNES
-Log in your computer
-Go downstairs
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by Chu on Mon Dec 19, 2011 4:14 pm

Log in to your computer.

RULE NUMBER 1 D:< free potion<3
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by REN on Mon Dec 19, 2011 6:54 pm

As expected you don't have any new messages, noone commented your pathetic state on Facebook, you have new virus in your PC, and someone hacked your transformice account. It's better to concentrate and leave the computer alone. What do you want to do now?

-Sleep a little
-Play with the SNES
-Go downstairs
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by darthjawafett on Mon Dec 19, 2011 7:18 pm

Play with the SNES
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by REN on Mon Dec 19, 2011 8:56 pm

You are playing with the SNES! Good! And don't worry, we understand that you are poor and don't have the money to buy the PS3. We take the opportunity to promote for free our ample selection of videogames, Nintendo brand. But now is not the moment to play, what do you want to do now?

-Sleep a little
-Go downstairs
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by Tal on Mon Dec 19, 2011 10:10 pm

LET'S GO TO SLEEP. FOREVER.
Or at least until Ren says we stop.
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by REN on Tue Dec 20, 2011 6:20 pm



There's nothing better than a good nap... You are wasting your precious time! Do something productive instead of dreaming of girls you won't ever have. What do you want to do now?

-Go downstairs
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by Chu on Tue Dec 20, 2011 8:02 pm

fall down the stairs
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by REN on Tue Dec 20, 2011 8:41 pm



You are now on the 1º floor after falling down the stairs due to your low agility and you realize that your house only has TWO rooms, one of them being your bedroom. But what an outrage! That means that your poor mother sleeps in the kitchen while you have your own room, the one which is not equipped with a bathroom... Let's leave existential issues for later. Now, what do you do?

-Talk with your mom
-Watch TV
-Go out
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by darthjawafett on Tue Dec 20, 2011 8:45 pm

Go out
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by REN on Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:27 pm



Finally! It has been almost 7 years since the last time your mom let you out of the house to wander the streets. Now you are 10 years old, about time to depart from that ridiculously small house! It's really a relief to be out, couldn't handle 1 more recond in that stinky place, not mentioning the good side of not having to keep up with your crazy mom... Now to face our challenges. We know how dangerous the streets may be and we know you are really scared. Quickly, you must look where to go if you don't want to be poke-kidnapped. What do you want to do?

-Go back home
-Go to your rival's house
-Go to Professor Oak's
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by Chu on Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:34 pm

go to Oak's house
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by REN on Wed Dec 21, 2011 11:05 pm



You made it to the lab. The professor is excited over the fact that you are there right beside his grandson, and he's liking your presece so much he's going to show you his balls; he´s got three though it should only be two. The pokeballs on the table. What do you want to do?

-Speak with Professor Oak
-Speak with your rival
-Go out
-Reset game (restart from "Inside your house")
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by Chu on Wed Dec 21, 2011 11:24 pm

speak with professor oak

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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by REN on Thu Dec 22, 2011 11:07 am



"Anonymous IP! , I see you've arrived! Here are 3 pokemon, they are inside the pokeballs! When I was young I was a good pokemon trainer, even though it's hard to believe... Well not that good though... Uhm, the case is that now I'm just an old solitary man that dedicates to hang out with minors. But now 3 pokemon is all that I have left, blame those Nigglets that steal everything. I will give you one, which one would you like?"

-Select Charmander
-Select Bulbasaur
-Select Squirtle
-I don't want anything from you, you old perv
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by Chu on Thu Dec 22, 2011 3:49 pm

Select Charmander
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by REN on Thu Dec 22, 2011 5:41 pm



Charmander
Tiny Lizard
Height: 0.6 m
Weight: 8.5 kg

Charmander is not only a simple pokemon, it's also a fantastic stove, an excelent blowtorch and a practical lighter that easily fits in a pokeball.

Do you want to select Charmander, the high-spirited pokemon? But don't get excited, we are not referring to that type of "high".

-Yes
-Check Bulbasaur
-Check Squirtle

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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by Chu on Thu Dec 22, 2011 5:43 pm

Yes
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by REN on Sun Dec 25, 2011 9:03 pm



"So you chose Charmander huh? Good choice! It appears that part of your damaged brain still works! Another dumbass would have chosen an effeminate Squirtle or a silly Bulbasaur, but you choose the best of the best. Just be careful not to burn your pants as you are carrying a quite flammable pokemon with you.



"Oh, you are choosing the FIRE type (yes, I put it in caps to make it sound important), Anonymous IP? In that case, because you are such an idiot to let me choose afterwards, I'm going to choose the WATER type because it contrasts. Now we fight"

-Continue
-Restart game (continue from "choosing a pokemon")
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by Chu on Sun Dec 25, 2011 9:22 pm

Continue
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by REN on Mon Dec 26, 2011 2:13 pm

*Tururunya- tururunya-waruwaruwaru
PAAB, guruguruguru ru* *Ren's improvising of battle music*


'Insert obscene name here' would like to battle.

"Ready for a fair battle?"
"Eh? I thought he was receiving his first pokemon today, noone told me he would be carrying more than one. Are those 14 pokeballs I see? Is that even allowed? It doesn't matter, I will give my all... who am I kidding, I will surely lose"



'Insert obscene name here' sent Blastoise
"Blastoise? What the hell? Wasn't it a Squirtle? And how is it even possible to have reached lvl 100 in such a short time?! Whatever, I knew I would lose so I will just fight. Go Charmander!

-Growl
-Leer
-Sand Attack
-Tail Whip
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by Chu on Mon Dec 26, 2011 2:15 pm

sand attack
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by REN on Tue Dec 27, 2011 3:59 pm



CHARMANDER used an useless attack!
But it failed!
What did you expect? You only have idiotic attacks that won't even tickle your oponent! Definitely your pokemon is a dicky, now it makes sense why that old fart was giving it away. Who cares, the battle continues...



Enem. BLASTOISE used Hydro Pump!
Critical hit!



CHARMANDER fainted!

Or that's what we tell little kids to not traumatize them with the news that their pokemon died. The point is, you lost the battle, what a loser...



"I won! Definitely you are no match for me! I don't know what was I thinking, wasting my precious time battling (if that's what YOU call it) against someone as weak as you. After all, I showed you that I'm better than you in every and all aspects, again. You will never beat me in anything!"

-Bribe give money to rival
-Restart game (from "choosing pokemon")
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by Tal on Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:24 pm

Restart
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

Post by REN on Thu Dec 29, 2011 8:59 pm



"Anonymous IP! , I see you've arrived! Here are 3 pokemon, they are inside the pokeballs! When I was young I was a good pokemon trainer, even though it's hard to believe... Well not that good though... Uhm, the case is that now I'm just an old solitary man that dedicates to hang out with minors. But now 3 pokemon is all that I have left, blame those Nigglets that steal everything. I will give you one, which one would you like?"

Select Charmander
-Select Bulbasaur
-Select Squirtle
-I don't want anything from you, you old perv
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Re: Pokemon Blue & Red - The Parody

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