Chuck Norris Jokes

Heres how it goes.

Post a true fact about chuck norris. No repeats. Only post one at a time. No double posting. 2 posts need to be between your post and your second post.


Ill start:


Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Time once flew by fast, but then it slowed down to watch out for Chuck Norris

Every month chuck norris sleeps with every woman, but they dont please him, so he sleeps with himself .-.

homosexual

Chuck Norris once took down a fighter airplane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "BANG!!"

The way through a man's heart is Chuck Norris' fist.

The reason the planets are in orbit, is because Chuck Norris round-housed the gravity from the Sun

Every night before bed, the Boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

If you spell chuck norris in scrabble you win ... forever

When chuck norris gives you the finger, hes telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Giraffes were made when chuck norris uppercutted a horse

Chuck Norris doesn't have to pay Wal-Mart for their products, Wal-Mart pays him for the products

I'm trying my best to make up my own XD

if batman and superman were to fight each other then chuck norris would win

Heres one I made up myself


What is the same between God and Chuck Norris?
A: they both control the universe

What is different?
A: God cant kill chuck norris.

Chuck Norris can fly to the other side of the Milky Way Galaxy and back in only 5 Minutes..... 3 times

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun

Here's one of my personal favorites...

Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his balls because hair can't grow on steel.

Funky Road wrote:Chuck Norris doesn't have to pay Wal-Mart for their products, Wal-Mart pays him for the products

I'm trying my best to make up my own XD

Dude, you don't have to make your own. Search them on the internet

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish to attack him.

Chuck Norris once went sky diving. Due to demand, he agreed to never do it again. We don't need another grand canyon.

SoulReaver wrote:

Funky Road wrote:Chuck Norris doesn't have to pay Wal-Mart for their products, Wal-Mart pays him for the products

I'm trying my best to make up my own XD

Dude, you don't have to make your own. Search them on the internet

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish to attack him.

I actually want to make my own Soul.
lol

But um here's one i found on the interwebz:
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' foot. Chuck Norris said, "Do you know who I am? I am Chuck Norris1" The mere sound of his name cured the blind man, but only witnessed 1 second of his life to see a fist flying at him at 100 MPH

btw I changed a few things up cuz I couldn't remember the whole thing XD

sorry if any are repeated cant see anyones post
-chuck norris doesn't sleep he waits
-you know how you check your closet for the boogeyman, well the boogeyman checks his closet for chuck norris
-if superman and the flash had a race to the moon chuck norris would win
-the reason why crabs walk sideways is because one of them looked chuck norris in the eye from that day all crabs walk sideways
-the reason why chuck norris is not allowed to do cannon balls in the ocean is why dont want any tidal waves
-chuck norris once beat the sun at a staring contest
-the reason why there is space is because space is afraid of being in the same planet as chuck norris
these are the ones i could think of atm again sorry if i repeated any

Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land

When scientists asked for Chuck Norris thoughts on the big bang theory, Chuck Norris waved his hand and said "Bad gas"

We live in an ever expanding universe. Its all trying to get away from chuck norris.

The saddest part in a kid's life is NOT when they learn that Santa isn't real. It's when they learn Chuck Norris IS!

Uncle Sam Wants you to Read, Chuck Norris wants you to Leave

chuck norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding lol

Chuck norris is a he/she

The strongest man in the world isn't afraid of anything. Perhaps he isn't aware of the fact Chuck Norris lives in the house next to him

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer.

This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

Global Warming Is Just A Myth, Chuck Norris Got Cold, And Turned Up The Sun.

chuck norris dosent own a microwave toaster or even a fire place, because revenge is a dish best served cold

chuck norris dosent style his hair, it stays in place out of sher terror